Stop thinking about what and start focusing on how

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Any good leader or coach knows that the real win isn’t in the outcome, it’s in the growth along the way. If you’ve been a client of mine, you know this is something I repeat over and over. ⁠⠀
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How many of you parents know exactly what you want your child to grow up and do in life? Or, who they should fall in love with? No? Me either. ⁠⠀
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But, I do know the characteristics and behaviors that I want them to cling to no matter what. I know that I want them to be kind and inclusive, to be a good listener and always willing to learn, to be brave, to never give up, and to know they are loved no matter what… And so, as parents, we teach them HOW to do all of these things. We focus on behaviors more than the destination. ⁠⠀
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Unfortunately, when it comes to ourselves, we too often focus on the outcome, on exact prescriptions, rather than the behaviors, patterns, and processes that help us get there. Most of us have enough to worry about, especially right now, and we don’t need to add food to that list. ⁠⠀
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So, instead of thinking so much about which food you need to eliminate, what carbs you should be eating or not, which vegetable is healthiest, or even the diet you want to end up on, what if you started to think about the patterns and behaviors that help you move towards your goal. ⁠⠀
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For example, how many of you eat more when you are standing up than when you put your food on a plate? What if your “sugar cravings” are more often a result of a stressful day? Or maybe, your endless snacking habit is because you skimped on a meal. Maybe, like me, you try to escape chaos by nibbling on something in the afternoons, and the problem isn’t the food, it’s your response to the chaos. ⁠⠀
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There is a time and place for thinking about specifics, but let’s not start there. Instead, I want you to think about what behaviors are linked with eating in a way that makes you feel your best, and what behaviors (whether they work for your neighbor or not), make it harder for you to eat in a way that makes you feel your best. ⁠⠀
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Health is not a game you can win, and in fact, there is far more to be gained in the process than the destination.⁠⠀
What behaviors help you?